Our goal is to look at others' good qualities - instead of looking at what’s wrong -to see others as valuable and important.
The first step is to notice when you are judging another person or when you have a strong opinion or preference about something or someone. Consciously stop yourself when you are about to say or do something negative or judgmental. Replace the “judging mind” with the mind that rejoices in, and can see and acknowledge (to yourself) the virtues of others. Our goal is to see virtue first and foremost and to contain judging thoughts.
What is a virtue? What behaviors are you looking for? Here is a list of virtues:
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Set your intention for yourself and others to be free from suffering. Sit quietly and focus on a time when you were suffering. Identify what was “off.” Were you angry, jealous, impatient, stingy, unkind or unloving? Notice where the feeling lives in your body. Breathe into that place of “unease.”
With the next breath, breathe in compassion. Visualize yourself surrounded by compassion and allow the “unease” to flow out of your body. If you have caused suffering to someone else, visualize the person in front of you with a wish that the suffering be replaced with compassion. Hold the compassionate heart for yourself and others.